Naruto: KFT
by Alucard1959
Summary: A modern day take on the Blonde Knucklehead we all know and love. Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, a rebel and a fighter who is down on his luck must deal with the pressure of school, everyday life as an orphan, and the re-appearance of a certain, unwelcomed face. NaruHina, Swearing, Cursing, Slight bashing, and Crude Humor. You have been warned!
1. Chapter 1

A modern day Naruto Uzumaki is down on his luck, after his mother's death and his father's abrupt appearance he is forced to deal with the problem at hand while also having to deal with the little amount of money he has and his soon to be taken home. He comes across a annual tournament of any and all types of fighters in his little town known as Konoha, he decides to join with a little coaching from his deadbeat dad. Watch as Naruto must deal with the lose of his mother, the rekindling of a father, son relationship, and his own romantic relationship begins to bloom with a curtain Purple haired beauty.

**Naruto: Konoha Fight Tournament (KFT)**

**Prologue: Another Day in Suburbia**

**I own Nothing**

"_...You ain't gonna believe this….but you used to fit right here. I held you up and said to your mother, "This kid is going to be the best kid in the world. This kid is gonna be somebody better than anybody ever knew." and you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching, everyday was like a privilege. _

_Then the time came for you to be your own man and take on the world….and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped bein' you. You let other people stick their finger in your face and tell ya you're no good. And when things started getting hard, you started lookin' for someone to blame….like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it._

_You, me, or nobody can hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him or her or anybody! That's what cowards do and that ain't you! You're better than that!-" _

"Horse shit!" A teen yells, clicking his flimsy little remote, "the fourth movie was better" he chimed in as he changes channels from one of his favorite movie franchise to the weather.

"_Hey there all of you in sunny Konoha! It's a great start for the city of Konoha as the morning is just beautiful, sitting at a nice and cool 70" _the weather woman listed off, her bubbly attitude made Naruto almost throw up his non-existent breakfast, _"But, It seems like it is going to be a scorcher in the early afternoon, late night, so you better slap on some SPF 50, put on those tank tops and booty shorts, and throw away your jackets, it seems summer has just arrived!" _

"Ha, good luck on that one." He yells teeing the last lace of his shoe and then kicked up from his recliner as he slide on his last article of clothing, his trusty dark orange zip up jacket. The boy was nothing special; he had short, spiky blonde hair that was messy and unkempt. He wore dark brown cargo pants that went to his ankles, allowing everyone to see his tattered steel toed boots. But, his most prized article of clothing was his jacket, it was a solid dark orange, bordering on light red, long sleeve jacket, even though he always rolls up the sleeves to his elbows, and with a slightly higher than normal collar. It had a few loops around the collar all leading to the two strings up front, and finally, under the jacket was a plain dark blue t-shirt.

As he slide on the jacket and turned off his TV, he went to the bathroom for a quick piss before heading off to school. Being a junior at Konoha High he knows well enough not to use school bathrooms. Just like with truck stop bathrooms, no one gives two shits about who will have to use those toilets after them or who might have to clean up after their little fire hose decided to pee on everything besides the damn toilet.

As he was pissing in his claustrophobic bathroom he looked into the mirror to notice he still had on his bandages from last night. He reached up and ripped off each of the four bandages one by one until they were off; leaving slight little markings that joined the already massive amount of bruises or scars on his body.

"Damn punks can give a mean left hook. Even though it was a cheap shot" he mumbles, wiggling the last remnants of pee out before zipping up and kicking his door open, "5 on 1 just ain't fair." he finished, reminiscing on the beat down that happened yesterday as he walked towards his door and picked up his ratty book bag. He made one last pit stop in front of his fridge, if you could call this clumsy box of malfunctioning hardware a fridge. He opened the fridge and found one apple that looked like it had gone bad 5 weeks ago and a bagel….why a single bagel would be in the fridge is beyond him, but he isn't stupid enough to let good food go to waste. He grabs the bagel, sinks his teeth in it and turns to leave.

He reaches the door and looks to his left; a picture of his mother hangs near the door frame by a tack. He pulls the piece of slightly stale bagel from his mouth and says a silent prayer for his mother, trying his hardest not to spew crumbs everywhere.

"Love ya mom, I know you're watchin' over me, believe it!" he yelled proudly as he almost choked on the last bit of bagel he hadn't swallowed. He kicked his apartment door wide open so he could greet this beautiful morning the weather woman promised…..only to be greeted by a hail of water and howling winds.

"_Yep, just another beautiful morning" _he thought sarcastically as his eyebrow twitched and his bottom lip was clinched by his top row teeth, trying to keep his anger in…..key word being try. He looked out to see not only was it raining, but it looked like it wouldn't be letting up anytime soon.

"AHHHH, fuck you weather woman! Fuck you! I have to run in this shit!" Naruto yells at the top of his lungs as he starts his 3 mile run to his school, Konoha High.

**Konoha High: First Bell**

**(Each character is taken from the Shippuden arc, so their height, weight, and hair style is from Shippuden)**

"Hey! Keep your big lumberjack arms on your side of the table, billboard brow!" Yelled an aggressive blonde, standing from her seat as she leered down at this so called, "Billboard brow".

"How about you keep your damn accessories on your side, Ino-pig! This is classroom not your shift on the curb, you don't have to gussy up like a two dollar whore!" The lumberjack arms retorts, jumping from her seat as well to defend herself.

The supposed two dollar whore was none other than Ino Yamanaka, a prominent member of the garden club, a AB student, and the schools number 1 gossip. She wore the traditional school attire. A medium sized skirt, a button up, white blouse, and a handkerchief. But, back to the lumberjack's comment. She was referring to the massive amount of make-up Ino had sprawled out all over the table. Blush, eye-shadow, mascara, lipstick, lip-boom, the list goes on and on and on, it was disgraceful, especially to Lumberjack arms or, as she normally likes to be called, Sakura Haruno. The pink haired bruiser who took no crap from no body!

Now, if you looked at both Sakura and Ino, you would think the two were polar opposites, one more outgoing and happy and another who is introverted and cold to most, but in all technicality Sakura was just like Ino only three years ago. Ino and Sakura were best of friends and even rivals for the hand of one Sasuke Uchiha, the most popular boy in middle school, but after she found out her father was cheating on her mother, something changed in her.

Beauty seemed the furthest from her mind, boy's where even further. She wanted nothing to do with Ino's childish rivalry or Sasuke's love, she just wanted to show what the Haruno family name could do.

She wore the same outfit as Ino, aside from her sleeves on her blouse being a little higher to show off her arms. Now, don't get me wrong, she isn't bulked up a disturbing amount, hell you could barely see any muscle definition, and that's where many people make their first mistake.

After her father left she asked for one of her classmates for some pointers on self defense and boy did he not disappoint. He taught her his style of self defense known as Boxing, and put her through the ringer, no breaks, no easy blows, no nothing, he went for body blows, hooks, uppercuts, every single jab he could get he got at least 10 times before telling her to walk it off.

But, even though it was the worst three years she's ever experienced, the results were everything she was looking for. She could take on anyone in strength alone, her constant hands on training in the ring, her weight training; she was stronger than any woman and some males in her damn age range. She was in the boy's debt; he was the only one who ever tried to help her and gave her a whole new perspective of the world.

As they continued to bicker their classmates began their own little conversations.

"Ah man, are they at it again?" a ponytailed boy questioned, sighing as he raises his head from the perfect comfy combination of his forearm and the desk.

"Yeah *munch* looks like *munch* it." A plumper boy answered his lazy friend's redundant question as he started to snarf down his bento box. The lazy pineapple hair boy looked over to his round friend and asked.

"Are you already eating your bento box Choji? You know how you get when you don't have lunch." his concern seemed that of a sibling, like an older brother trying to help out his little twerp of a brother who didn't seem to keen on listening.

"Oh, I know Shikamaru. That's why I made two. One that I can snack on now, and the other to wade me over until dinner." the pudgy sweetheart smiled out, touched by his friends knowledge of his moods.

"You're hopeless." Shikamaru sighed, smacking his head back down onto his awaiting forearm as he tried to get some extra Zzz's before their homeroom teacher showed up.

"For the love of god won't those two just shut up already and kiss!" a more scruffy and unkempt boy spoke aloud, but not loud enough for the raging girls to hear. He, just like every other boy in this school, wore the same outfit, keeping the level of individuality at an all time low. It was a normal short sleeve, button up, white shirt that was neatly tucked into a pair of black dress pants. His however deviated from that simple little plan, he had untucked his white shirt and had a few of the top buttons open, revealing his slightly above average muscled chest, and I use the term muscled looseley.

"Indeed Kiba, most unnerving." His quiet, introverted friend spoke up, light enough for most normal humans not to here but just enough for his friends good hearing to catch on. The boy wore the same uniform only to "spice" things up abit with his circular framed, tinted glasses. "But I don't believe their confrontation would be solved by kissing. I believe that is something you yourself would wish to see."

The mutt just gave a big, toothy grin and said, "Hehe, Shino my man, who wouldn't want to see that! The hot Ino sloppin' spit with the bruiser Sakura, one night only! Come on! I bet a stiff like you would get a woody from that."

"You are a very depraved man, Kiba." Shino spoke calmly, dismissing his friends outrageously perverted fantasies.

As the two hotheads came to a head, so did the people around them. Everyone, and I mean everyone was talking about them, some even started to think they were about to through down right here and now…..except for two. There was one in each corner, one being a stoic faced boy and the other a timid and shy girl, both of which were gazing outside, not even giving the spectacle that is playing out before them the time of day.

The first was a black haired stoic who sat with his chin in his hand and his eyes boring a hole through the window. His gaze never left that spot as he sat transfixed on the heavy rain now pouring down by the bucket full. _"I feel sorry for the poor bastard who has to go through this" _He thought to himself as his mind soon drifted back to his own thoughts. The boy's name was Sasuke Uchiha and he, like most of the boys & girls in this room, had a very famous and wealthy family.

The Yamanaka's were known for their dual famous make-up line and flowers bouquets shops that have popped up over Konoha. Each bouquet of flowers was handpicked by the family, or so the countless billboards and commercials claimed, and with each purchase of a bouquet they would throw in a piece of their cosmetic line. To be honest, they sold a very good product. The make-up held out perfectly, almost 100% water-proof, and the flowers, if taken care of, where the prettiest things you could find.

Choji Akimichi and his family made a name for themselves in making the largest grossing restaurant chain in recent history. The Akimichi Butterfly Effect…..I know, weird name and yet everyone couldn't get enough of their food. Choji's mother ran the one in town while the father stayed in the business aspect of the company, making sure every Butterfly Effect was running smoothly.

Kiba and his pack of dogs he calls a family, the Inuzuka, are the leading veterinarians that set the bar for other animal doctors worldwide. They have worked on every single animal, big or small, fat or skin, time and time again. If any creature had a problem they were the first to be called.

Shino and his family of bug lovers have figured out the perfect ways to integrate their different forms of insects and larvae into the medical field. Yes, that sounds disgusting but if you get results and you heal faster because some fruit fly maggots ate the dead skin out of your wound then you better stop complaining. They were the more distant of the famous families, they never really wanted any fame or advertising, the mostly went on trips to other parts of the country to help out anyone they could. In fact, most of the children hear never get to see their parents for more than a few days out of the month. That is the case for the last four children, Sasuke, Sakura, Shikamaru, and the timid mystery girl.

The pink haired bruiser and the lazy know it all both had family ties to politics. Mostly city to possible state level politics but it was still pretty damn important. Sakura's mother was an elected official in congress of the Elemental Nations, a very massive deal seeing as she was the first women who utterly decimated her male competitor. She knows what she is doing and she gets shit done, her "never say die" attitude has gotten her many followers while also gaining a healthy amount of hate.

While Shikamaru's father on the other hand has his say in a different form of politics, mainly helping others get into it. He is the go to guy if you want a successful and prosperous campaign towards whatever political area you are throwing your hat in.

His tactical mind makes it so much easier for his clients, all you have to do is give him a file of your political, religious, or charity work and he can make you look so good people would be begging for you to take office.

Hell, even Sakura's mother needed a few helpful tips from the guy if she wanted a shot against the juggernaut she was going up against.

The Uchiha's on the other hand had…..illegal political ties. They were Konoha's version of the Mafia or the Yakuza, but unlike Mafia's "belief" that they were family, the Uchiha's were actually related by blood. They lived by a strict code, "You are brought into this world by a Uchiha and you will leave this family by the hands of an Uchiha." meaning, the only way you can get out of this family is by either dying naturally, being taken out by one of your own, or the honorable suicide by gutting yourself with any sharp object you could find.

Their branch of family committed the most heinous of crimes in the Konoha district, drugs, money laundering, illegal gambling, sex trade operations, if you can think of something illegal they have cornered the market on it.

The head of the family, Fugaku Uchiha had his own seat in congress, alongside Sakura's mother Mebuki Haruno who has tried her damndest to reveal Fugaku for the dirty rat he truly is. But, sadly, Fugaku has been in his position much longer than she has and he has deep rooted "ties" to the other congressmen, making it next to impossible for Mebuki to get any leverage on him.

Speaking of jack booted gangsters taking the law into their own hands, we turn our attention back onto the timid girl known as Hinata Hyuga. Hinata Hyuga, the next in line to inherit her father and mother's empire known as the Hyuga family.

She was a timid and easily startled young lady with a big heart, her hair was long and straight and as purple as all get out. She had milky white just like all Hyuuga's do, but she didn't inherit her father's ruthless aggression, she inherited her mother's grace and kindness.

Her family, The Hyuuga's, where the polar opposites of the Uchiha's, or at least that's what the keep telling themselves while the brake the rules just as frequently as those red eyed bastards. The Hyuuga's try to make themselves seem like they're more noble and elegant of the two by comparison by following the rules to a certain extent. The Uchiha's just flat out ignore the rules, giving a big bloody middle finger to the cops since they are to scared to do anything, while the Hyuuga's help the cops while simultaneously taking money out of their damn pockets.

"Alright everyone, settle down." the teacher's spews out disinterestedly, pushing the door open with the tip of his shoe and slinks on into his class with a book already cracked open in his hand. The man was a just a simple teacher, he earned minimum wage and did his classroom duties like any other person in this hall, but he did it with a certain lackluster appeal that would bored anyone to death. Hell, even Shino, the most uninteresting person in this class had more spunk and vigor.

As the bell rang and class started, the class was greeted to a dripping wet blonde who had his backpack drug behind him with his hair drenched with it clinging to his wet face. His stare was that of a bored and rather annoyed streetwalker, his expression was droopy but also slightly comical, almost like those people that are always miserable in comic strips.

"Ah, Mr. Uzumaki, glad you decided to join us" the teacher said boringly, turning his attention away from the board and looking at the soaked Naruto who didn't seem all to happy. "And I see you're not in uniform."

"Yeah, I guess I'm not." Naruto mocked, looking down at his drenched attire before shaking like a dog, getting the first row of people wet in the process.

"Do you have a note from the office explaining why you were late?" the bored teacher droned, almost like the words were being squeezed out.

"Yeah, here." he said, fishing through his pocket full of water and pulled out a wad of wet paper with ink literally dripping off of it. "It kinda got wet too, my bad." He mumbled boredly, turning from the teacher's desk and going to his seat at the very back, a seat right behind the timid Hinata and the brooding Sasuke.

"Hey, Naruto-kun" Sakura whispered when the teacher turned his back and went on drowning about the lesson of the day.

"Yo" He answered back.

"You know, if you want you can just tag along with me today. I got my car back from the shop." she said, pulling her keys from her very small purse and jingled them lightly.

"Really?" he asked, getting a nod from his friend, "Sweet! Thanks Sakura-chan" He said happily, flashing a smile at his pink haired sparring partner.

"No problem, it's the least I can do."

As she said that Naruto started his trek back up before the teacher noticed them. He ignored the staring and some who were even downright glared at him. Why should he care? It's not like he did anything wrong. But oh how wrong his thinking was. He did everything wrong, every rule, every order, and every demand anyone gave him was quickly dismissed in favor of doing the complete opposite.

"_Yep, just another day dealing with mediocrity."_

**Hello everyone and thank you for taking the time to read my newest installment in my arsenal of Fanfiction. I can't wait to get this one rolling, I've always had an idea to try this and I just couldn't get it going, but now I want to try something new. My Naruto stories have been more based in the mythos of Naruto and it was always dark and grungy, but I wanted to add a little be more comedy and verity, so thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read over it.**

**I'm sorry it's a little short but I just wanted to get some feedback on if I should keep going with it or just trash it. Please PM me or just review and I will get back to you guys as soon as possible.**

**Also, quick fact, this will not be a Harem story (*Gasp*) I know, I know, this will be my first 1 on 1 relationship story and I hope you all enjoy. It will be**

**NarutoxHinata**

**So, sorry if you don't like Naruto or Hinata but it's best if I tell you up front so you can decide if you want to continue reading it or not. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

**A school day in the life of Naruto Uzumaki pt.1**

**The New Kid and the Favor**

**I own Nothing**

Homeroom, one of the most boring classes I've ever had to slog through. Sure, It only last for 30 minutes and it only happens every now and again, either when a assembly was about to happen or it was coming close to the end of the year but now, now they're just trying to waste time and it's pissing me off. It takes to much energy for me to even get up and not just yell fuck it! And roll back over and take in a few more Z's but no, I had to come to school until I am 18 soooo, I guess I gotta wait and deal with this stupid class.

"Alright class" The teacher finally said something, breaking the silence, "everybody settle down!" He said with more bass and authority, showing a glimpse of actual effort on his part. The class soon quieted down, finally allowing my migraines to return to its usual dull buzz.

"Now everyone, we have called you all to your home room for two reasons. For starters, the Senior Ceremony will soon begin; our last year junior's are finally going to be sworn into their rightful place of senior status. Speaking of change, I am pleased to announce your class has been graced with a new student."

A new student? So, you're telling me, that we have wasted time and screwed up our normal schedule for a stupid ceremony AND a new student?! We could have gotten this idiotic Senior Ceremony out of the way but no, we had to waste time and introduce a new face into this bland prison known as High School. I scanned the room for a new face, something that I haven't done in a long time. I grew up with these people, some more happy about that fact than others. From the first day of Kindergarten to our junior year in Konoha High, we all stood side by side.

Many had changed, Sakura came to my mind when I think of change, while other seemed to continue to fall into the same category every year, Ino seemed to corner that market. But, I'm getting off topic; I am supposed to be scanning the room for the kid that has been hidden in the group of forgotten faces of my youth. You see, our school thinks it's a lot easier on new kids if they are placed in class like nothing ever happened, so when they tell them to stand up many people around them would have already gotten to know at least there name. Which makes some sense, getting at least a few people to know you before you are subjected to everyone's stares could probably makes the experience a little better…..I guess. Hell, if you asked me I would rather stand up front and face their stares head on than to have to wait for my teacher to announce my presence.

My eyes soon landed on a purple haired pre-teen who seemed ready to pass out. Her face was now almost blood red, her eyes were shut tight and her hands were locked together in a very nervous way.

"_Found her" _I thought as I continued to scan over her body to get a good read on who she was. I wasn't like Sherlock Holmes or nothing but I am a good judge of character, at least that's what Sakura says, and I think I can get a good read on her before she is outed to everyone in the class.

From what I could tell she was very nervous, _"No shit", _I thought to myself, knowing anyone with two working eyes and half a brain could have put that together. She wore a blue and white Hoodie with a pair of blue jeans, but I really wasn't all too focused on her outfit, I was more drawn to her eyes. Those eyes, those beautiful pale eyes that were like two perfect copies of the full moon…...I mean, yeah, they look alright, nothing' major!

But while I…..observed her eyes, I couldn't help but picture seeing them before, which was odd because I don't recall ever seeing someone like her. Her hair color is rather odd, a blue/ purple color I guess, I don't really know, I am terrible with colors! Everyone says I'm color blind but Sakura just thinks the only color on my mind is Orange. But there's nothing wrong with orange! It's a great color, it makes you stand out and you've gotta stand out in this piece of shit world if you want anyone to notice you or give you a shot at anything.

But anyway, I couldn't really say her hair was weird per say, because hell, I have a friend who has PINK hair and she continues to say it's natural. Bullshit! Her Mother's hair is blonde and her father's is brown at best, so either her mother needs to tell Sakura something family related or she dyes's it.

Her eyes remind me of someone; I just can't put my finger on it.

"Now class, I would like you to give your new classmate a warm welcome. Miss. Hinata Hyuga, can you please stand and address the class." Our teacher finally said, gesturing towards the milky eyed stranger. Soon, after she stood and the words our teacher barely choked out started to sink in I realized why she looked so familiar.

"_She's a damn Hyuga!" _Ah yes, my colored past has had many run ins with those pocket picking slim wads known as the Hyuga family. Are they worse than the Uchiha's? To me, hell yes! At least with the Uchiha's they don't sugar coat it, they know what they're doing is wrong and they continue to do it with no care about the law. Even though that's illegal, I still gotta give props on their steel cohunes. But with the Hyuga's it's a whole new story, those pretentious, egotistical, backstabbing cowards!

But my hateful rant on the Hyuuga's was put on hold when I stopped to think about something, why would a Hyuga be in public school? For the last…..I don't know, 100 years or so, the "Elite" Hyuga's always put their children, especially main members, in Private, very expensive, top of the line schools. But now here stands a member of the Hyuga's in a public school, the top rated public school in Konoha, but a public school nonetheless.

"H-H-Hello, m-m-my name is H-H-Hinata Hyuga, I-It's very nice t-t-to meet you all." Her words stammered out as she played with the hem of her jacket. I couldn't really blame her for being nervous, hell I would probably trip over my words a few times if I was the new kid, but like I said before, she's a freakin' Hyuga! Where's the cockiness? Where's the blatant assholery? She can't be a Hyuga!

"She looks smokin'!" The dog of the class, Kiba whispered loud enough for almost everyone to hear, kinda defeating the purpose of whispering, but no one ever accused him of being smart. Well, his comment apparently was loud enough to make it to the back of the class cause the girl's face grew even more redder, almost to the point where I started to get concerned for her safety. Oh how right I was!

She first started to sway one way then the other, at first it was soft, almost unnoticeable, but then it picked up on strength. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and that's all she wrote, she was passed out like a light right on her desk. She fell stomach first; knocking over all the paper's and supplies she had laid out on the desk for today's class.

"_Oh shit!" _I thought as I was the first to jump up and help. I know this might sound odd but even though I hate her family she hasn't "technically" done anything to me, at least I don't think she did, so I should at least make sure she didn't clip her head against a chair or the table corner.

Once I stood up and got to her table I was surprised to see no one else seemed to be getting up to help, sure some got up to get a better angle for their camera phone or some just got up to get a better view of the past out new girl so they could laugh some more but for some reason, the asshole of the class (me) was willing to help far more than any of this mouth breathers.

"Oh gosh, what happened?!" the teacher asked, his mind finally catching up with everyone else's. He walked up the rows and stood behind me, watching me like a hawk watches his prey. What the hell did I do? I thought to myself as I flipped her over to check the other side if it was okay. Once I got her over I noticed a bloody nose and a little lump on her slightly paler face, all color had left her.

"What happened, Mr. Uzumaki?" he questioned me, almost as if he thought this girl's fainting spell was my fault.

"I don't know, she just passed out I guess, maybe she didn't eat breakfast or something." I mumbled, confused about my teacher's attitude towards me. 'I didn't do shit', would have been my first response but I've gotten into too much trouble already with my dirty mouth, no need to bog myself down some more just because this new girl passed out.

"Really? So you had NOTHING to do with this, Mr. Uzumaki?" The teacher questioned, stretching one of his eyes open like it was about to pop out of its socket.

"How the hel- I mean, why are you blaming me?" I asked, annoyed by this crappy line of questioning, and why is it that every time something goes wrong in the piss poor school that I'm the first and only suspect? "I didn't even touch her".

"I wasn't blaming you Mr. Uzumaki, why are you so defensive?" He asked once again.

"Cause, I don't like being accused of crap I didn't do." I growled.

"Well, excuse me for having trouble believing your innocence Mr. Uzumaki." He said weasely, his condescending words slithering from his gaping mouth like an eel from its dank den. "Your track record does not really help your case though, does it Mr. Uzumaki?"

"What does my track record have to do with anything? She passed out! It's not like I drugged her or anything." This man's tone was really starting to piss me off.

"You are no stranger to adding foreign substances into other's belongings." He accused, pointing his plump fingers in my direction, they almost looked like sausage links.

"What are you blaming me for this time?" I asked, glaring at his judgmental finger that he has jutted into my field of vision; I swear if it was any closer I would be tempted to bite it off just to prove a point.

"Oh trust me, I am not "blaming" you of anything that has not already been proven." he chuckled, stroking his patchy beard that surrounded parts of his chubby face, "I remember the day exactly. October 10th, last semester, I was drinking my usual morning coffee and remembered I had forgotten my Planner for the day in the Teacher's lounge. So, thinking it wouldn't take but a minute, I left the class and went back for it but, little did I know, a little PRESENT was left in my coffee."

"I didn't do it! It's not my fault a dead Cockroach was found in your coffee, maybe you need to clean out the coffee filters!" I defended, but deep down I knew I did it and it wasn't even a pre-meditated prank which I thought was pretty damn clever on my part.

I walked into my homeroom at least two minutes before the bell rang and I found this big, fat roach crawl from a crack in the wall and noticed an unsupervised cup of hot coffee that was in the same mug that our teacher uses every day. So, thinking fast, I scooped up the huge sucker and plopped it in the boiling hot coffee, killing the poor bastard on impact, hell, I think I heard it hiss before its demise. When he came back with his planner the whole class had arrived at least a minute before he came back with his Planner, allowing me to hide in the back and watch the magic unfold.

"I know it was you! I had an eye witness to it!" he barked, breaking me from my train of thought.

"You can't trust her; Ino's had it out for me since Kindergarten!" I yelled back, pointing my own accusing finger at the platinum blonde who was applying more damn make-up.

"Liar! I wouldn't waste my time on a deadbeat like you!" Ino yelled, jumping from her chair to try and defend her blatant lie! Sure, I know I did it, I'm not disputing that, well, not in my head anyway, but that's beside the point. I was the only one in the room at the time, I came in here two minutes before the bell rang and no one was in this room, I made damn sure about that, that being said, there's no way she would have been able to know I did it! I'm not stupid; I cover my tracks after a prank.

"Enough!" The teacher interrupted, finally cutting of this argument that shouldn't have started in the first place, "we have much more important problems than to argue Naruto's…."Innocence"" He sighed, giving me a sideways glance as he walks back to the front of the class.

"Yo, what about her?" I asked, poking the new girl in her side, getting a slight giggle from the unconscious Hyuga.

"Oh yes, I almost forgot." he spoke with a shit eating grin, taking his seat up front while eyeing me, "I want you to take Miss. Hyuga to the Nurses station and then report this little incident to the Principal."

"What!? Why me? Why not you?" I barked, glaring back at our teacher, hoping to catch him on fire with just my stare alone. Oh how cool would it be if I could set someone on fire like that!

"Well I can't leave; I have a class to watch over. Besides, the Assembly is going to start shortly and I am supposed to watch over my own group. So, I can't really leave them, now can I?" he said smugly, why the hell was he smiling? It's freakin' creepy!

"Then why don't you get some of this butt munches to take her?" I asked, pointing in the direction of several of my most hated classmates, Ino, Kiba, Sasuke, the list goes on and on.

"Because you are the only one who showed the _incentive _to see if she's okay. I think she would be in better hands if _you _took her." I think the fat bastard is mocking me…..yep, he is. He knows I hate being around people, especially _new_ people, no point in talking to them if they're just going to hate me in about a week, tops.

I think he was just trying to get under my skin for that Cockroach thing but whatever it's no use in arguing with this bastard, you can't fight someone who's got the "Authority" over you. Well, you can try but it probably won't end well.

I already have to do a crap ton of community service around the school from my early pranks, don't want to add on another 3 hours for insubordination (whatever the hell that means). So, sighing a big old begrudging sigh, I scooped up the unconscious Hyuga and started my walk to the Nurses Station, but not before I heard a chorus of laughter from my homeroom class and by many passers-by's, which made me feel even better about doing this.

I made it to the Nurses Station in record time, seeing as I know the fastest route to and from there, why do I know this? None of your damn business, that's why!

When I got their I just plopped her down on one of the open med beds and went to leave, I really didn't have time for this and even if I did I wouldn't want to deal with it, I just don't care. But, while I was trying my hardest to sneak out I was soon caught by one of the incoming nurses, one of the few people I can actually say I like in this dump of a school.

"Ah, Naruto-kun, I'm glad I catcha." Shizune, the schools registered nurse whizzed out as she pulled in a trolley with three crates of medical supplies stacked on top of each other, "can I get a little help here?"

"Well actually, I gotta-" that was all I was able to say before I was stopped by Shizune, while I started to slowly walk out.

"Ah come on, Naruto-kun. It'll just take a minute." She begged, she knows I can't deal with people begging, it's demeaning for them and it makes an asshole out of me. So, reluctantly I walked in and grabbed the top box off the stack, no need in me being an ass to the only person in this damn school that actually likes me.

"Alright, where do you want it?" I asked with a grunt, this thing is freakin' heavy! What's in this box, bricks?

"Come on, I'll show ya" she said with a smile, taking the remaining two on the cart and push it through an open door, I'm guessing the Nurse's supply closet or something. She asked me to take these three boxes and put them in the corner, why she couldn't do it on her own is beyond me. I picked them up and slammed them down in the corner and decided it would be best if I go in a hurry; don't want her asking questions about that Hyuga chick.

"So, who's that girl out there." she asked, pointing to the passed out chick that was now slowly coming too, "she your girlfriend or something."

"Girlfriend!?" I yelled, don't insult me with thinking I would lower my standards to date a stuck up Hyuga, "you gotta be kidding me Shizune, she's a Hyuga."

"A Hyuga?!" Shizune gasped, looking over my shoulder as I head for the door, "what's a Hyuga doing here? I thought they were too good for public school."

"The hell if I know, I was just told to bring her here." he sighed, shrugging at her question. I don't know this woman, I can't speak for her. "When she wakes up you can talk her ear off."

"Why did you bring her here? She's got a nasty bump on her head." Shizune said, switching back to her normal concerned nurse mode, it's actually pretty funny to watch her switch from a down to earth wise cracker to a concerned, motherly nurse.

"She passed out in the middle of homeroom, she's a new kid and when she had to stand up and talk to the class she dropped like a rock." I replayed, "Maybe she didn't eat anything this morning or something."

"Na, it's probably overheating." she said with her normal nurse voice, all smart and shit.

"Overheating? The hells that?" I asked, she isn't a car engine or a video game console, how the hell can she overheat.

"Summer has just started and the school's budget is too freakin' small to get the air-conditioning to work. She's also wearing a thick jacket, I'm not surprised she didn't pass out the moment she walked into the freaking building." Shizune explained, unzipping the Hyuuga's jacket and felt a wave of heat blow out of it.

"Damn, must have been stuffy in there." I chimed in.

"You know, this can happen to you too." Shizune said, going to the nurses closet and grabbed some bandages for Hinata's bruised up head. "If you keep wearing that jacket you will be in her position one day."

"Me? Na, I'm too cool." I said with a dorky pun, hey, my material isn't always grade A; I gotta work with what I've got.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I'll keep a bed open for ya when someone has to cart you in for Hyperthermia." she laughed, soon focusing on that Hinata chick which gave me the perfect opportunity to bail. What's Hyperthermia anyway? Isn't that when you're really cold? Why would I be cold, I got a jacket on. I never understand that woman or any woman for that matter.

I decided that for once I will listen to my idiotic teacher and head to the Principal office to give her a report on what's going on, even though I can't stand being in her office. It's not her, trust me, I actually like her, she's like the grandma I never had. But it's her Vice Principal that I can't stand! It used to be Shizune, who like I said, I love like a sister, but she had to quit when the original registered nurse was fired for mistreating the students and stealing some of the low end pain meds that had stored in the nurses' station.

With Shizune gone and no one wanting to step up to the plate they had to find someone to be her assistant Principal. So, they called up a few people who they thought would be up for the job and were given a crotchety old fart that went by the name Danzo.

Good god do I hate him, he used to be this school's vice Principal when I was still in middle school but he retired for some ungodly reason and now he's back for some unspeakable reason.

Why oh why would they bring him back? In the history of this school, Danzo is the only one the holds the record of most hated faculty member, voted on by the senior and junior class. He wasn't visually evil, he wasn't like those old cartoon villains that seat all day in their fancy chairs and twiddles their handlebar mustaches, even though sometimes it seemed that way. No, his true evil was in the subtleties, the way he speaks to you, wanting you to believe he sees you as his equal but in all honesty, he sees you as nothing more than a dog.

I would have loved if they brought back Hiruzen Sarutobi; I heard great things about him. He was attentive, motivated, and a great person to the kids but…...about 3 years ago, right when I was making the move to the High school, Sarutobi died in his sleep. The cops say it was a Pulmonary Embolism, whatever the hell that is, he died peacefully in his sleep. Others speculated that one of his student's from his teaching days offed him with some sort of poison or drug because of a debt he owed, I guess everyone has a little dark secret, even sweet old men.

I arrived at my destination as quickly as I could; hoping this little side track would be over rather quickly. I walked through the different twist and turns until I finally arrived at the Principal's office.

I knocked on the door only to see it slide open, revealing the second person I could actually respect in this dump, Tsunade Senju. A drunken old bat that couldn't be more delightful if she tried, she's a woman after my own heart! Hell, the way she acts and talks reminds me so much of my mother that she just needs the red hair and a breast reduction.

"Ah Naruto-kun, to what do I owe this visit?" she asked calmly, not lifting her gaze from the papers that covered her desk. Did I mention she is a massive procrastinator; she can't do anything ahead of time so she normally waste time and then scrambles to get it done. I wonder how many other character traits she got from hanging around my mother.

"Nothin' much Baa-chan, I was told to come down here to give you the low down on what happened this morning during home room," I answered, using my usual greeting towards the old bird. Many wouldn't believe me but Tsunade is 55, 56 in a few weeks. Now, I say many wouldn't believe me because her skin has zero wrinkles, her hair has no sign of grey, hell, even her boobs are the same, or at least that's what the sex ed teacher, Jiraiya-baka, keeps telling me.

You see, many people have speculated, (whatever the hell that word means) that Tsunade has found the way to ultimate youth! Like hell she did, I know the truth, my mother told me. She first uses more skin creams than anyone I've ever seen; if you've ever been to her house (which I have) you would see her bathroom is stuffed with more makeup and cosmetic products than most cosmetic stores do. Hell, I've seen a few make-up kits that look like they're from the Stone Age.

She then smears on so much make-up in the morning you couldn't cut through it with a damn pressure washer! And finally, she dyes her hair so often that you would suspect the dye was bleeding into her skull.

It's funny actually, she boost to every girl who asks her what her secret is that it's just a good diet and exercise, but in reality, she is the least athletic and least dietary person I have ever meet. She drinks every night, gambles on her off days, and does a little nursing on the side, she would never exercise, even if her life depended on it.

"How many times do I have to say this, I'm not that damn old!" She hissed, chucking her stapler at me only for me to dodge it. "Stop calling me that!"

"Stop calling you what? BAA-CHAN!" I yelled, getting a few confused stares from the grunts that worked in the main office Tsunade's office is stationed in.

"I'm gonna ring that little neck of yours, you twerp!" She barked, jumping from her leather backed chair, only to stop, close her eyes, and take a deep breath as she slowly chanted, "he's not worth it, he's not worth it" before taking her seat again.

"What do you need, you little twerp?"

"Wow, so rude! And I thought you were supposed to be the respected Principal of Konoha High. The descendant of the great Mayor, Hashirama Senju, one of the most beloved mayor's in Konoha's illustrious heritage," I smirked, I just loved pissing her off, it was like my own personal show.

But, I do have to say it has gotten boring since she's gone to anger management classes. They were mandatory if she wanted to keep her job, especially when she almost caved in my face with her desk lamp.

I gotta say, for a woman who doesn't work out, she's got a mean arm.

"I'm surprised you knew what illustrious and heritage mean," she retorted, giving me a sly little smirk, well played.

"Hehe, yeah, I remembered that line from my history teacher last semester." I spoke, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly.

"Haha, I gathered. I am surprised you haven't used a single curse word in your sentences yet, you're making progress." She smiled, returning her gaze back to her work, "Now, what happened in your home room that was so important that your teacher sent you down here? The Senior Ceremony is going to start shortly."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot!" I spoke, remembering why the hell I even came down here for, "that new chick, the Hyuga, she passed out a few minutes ago in my homeroom. I just dropped her off at the nurse's office, last I saw was Shizune-chan trying to figure out why she passed out."

"Oh, Hinata passed out? Is she okay?" She asked, prying her eyes from her paperwork to look me in the eyes while we start to discuss the Hyuga.

"I don't know, I didn't stay long enough to get a full diagnosis. All I know is she bonked her head…. I think Shizune-chan said something about overheating or something like that." I said truthfully, I really didn't want to stay long enough to get the full report; I would rather listen to the screeching Ino yell in my ear for a half hour than stay in that room with A Hyuga.

"Gee, you're so helpful Naruto-kun." she said, I distinctly heard a bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"Hey, don't blame me! You know I don't like Hyuga's, why the hell would I care if one passed out?" I argued, I don't have to dignify my reasoning for wanting to get the hell out of there.

"I know, I know, you've made that quite clear to me on multiple occasions." Tsunade reassured, bring up my MANY rants on how much I hate and despise those weasels. "But, this development actually reminds me that I've been meaning to ask a favor of you, Naruto-kun"

"Okay, shoot." I spoke calmly, taking one of the two seats that were positioned in front of Baa-chan's thick wooden desk.

"Tomorrow we will have another new face to add to our High School, Danzo's son, Sai." Tsunade began to explain.

"That old bat had a son?! Shouldn't he be like in his twenties or something?"

"Well, not exactly. He's actually his Half Nephew, but Sai's father, Danzo's step-brother died in a car accident a few months ago, leaving Sai in Danzo's capable hands." she spoke with care, dealing with the situation with the utmost sensitivity.

"That's tragic, but not to sound like an ass, what's this got to do with me?" I asked, I really don't like being an ass, hell I can sympathize with Sai but I really hate when people beat around the bush.

"Well, seeing as we have two new students, one coming tomorrow and another taking up space in our Nurses station, I really believe we should try and make sure their first week here is the best we can possibly be….so," she drowned out, darting her eyes from left to right, keeping eye contact to a minimum.

"So…...what?" I asked, anticipating her announcement.

"So, I was hoping…..that you could…...possibly…..hopefully…..for me….watch over Sai and….Hinata for their first week at school."

"...WHAT!"

**Thank you all for reading and please review! I would love to hear your opinion on how this is going!**


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